Is it something I said????

I tell you what, after a day of battling airport security, Slough never looked so good. I must have a magnet attached to me. Pick me! Pick me!

I had to fly to Leeds today for work. I don't mind the city in all honesty. It has a kind of edgy feel to it, which I quite like. It's just the flying. I started early this morning, making it into Heathrow with plenty of time spare. Cool, I thought. I'm going to get a coffee and have a snooze somewhere. Alas, not to be. I first encountered the check in for BMI...some Eastern European lady demanding I produce a passport...but it's a domestic flight!!!! Ok, convinced her at last, scouted around the Brady Bunch on summer holidays and made it to a spare automatic check in.

Next stop, security. A somewhat over zealous body pat down...ewww...and then my laptop scanned for bomb stuff...whatever..

So that was the first leg...Then there was the return journey back to London...

Before I get there, I must digress at this point and make a further observation. I now know where the 2/3 obesity rate for the UK comes from. Leeds, Yorkshire. There are some seriously FAT people in Leeds. Waddling all over the joint. Chocolates and other sweeties all over the desks...And you shoulda seen the fried food at the canteen! Deep fried cheese toasties for crying out loud...repulsive.. I've since found out the Londoners visiting this place go off premises in search of healthier options at lunch time. Mental note for next visit. Still, the food options in Slough are Pizza Express, Nandos and Pizza-A-Go-Go-(figure).

Right, back to the return journey. 5pm. Down tools. Dash for freedom. Jump in very smelly taxi. Get stuck in traffic on way to airport. (Note, there is only 1 road in to Leeds - Bradford airport. Up a narrow high road and past roundabouts feeding on to the motorway, that is still blocked due to flooding weeks ago...sheesh!!)..Pull up into airport. Taxi driver decides to write his life story on the receipt...Literally run into security...wheezing heavily...plastic bag with stolen toiletries from hotel rooms, jacket, laptop, shoes...all in tray... (15 mins to take off)....and WHA THA FU%$!!!!... I get stopped again by airport security...This time the body search was even more personal...And THIS TIME, they did a full bag search...I swear I did my utmost to bite my tongue...I think something slipped out, but my colleague managed to save the day...phew! I just can't believe this.

It doesn't matter what I do, every single airport I go to I get this treatment. I clearly have terrorist written all over me...I swear that the real ones are slipping in behind me while I create a diversion... unbelievable.